The Structure of Distrust ??

[Nigel H]

Hi - Calling Master Pracitioners of TLT (and above!)

I have a query and would respectfully request anyone trained in TLT to offer suggestions, despite being a Master Practitioner myself I am having a problem with this ... as it is my own issue, so perhaps less objective than I would otherwise be.

After a recent event in my marriage I have lost trust in mt wife and want to be able to rid myself of this issue with a view to regaining our relationship (subject to various other issues being resolved also) with this currently being the biggest issue I face in continuing the relationship .....

Within the context of a Breakthrough Session as taught at master Prac level, I have pondered the structure of trust (or more likely 'distrust').

Obviously there is plenty of anger, sadness, hurt and probably fear too with various limiting decisions having been created about what happens when she is away from me or various others too I am sure of that.

My issue relates to the fact that having released all the relevant emotions and beliefs/decisions .... will the fact that I know what she did create distrust in it's own right, or do you think that the release of all the emotions and beliefs about the event will mean that despite knowing what she did I will be able to feel trust, having removed the negative state associated with those events?

Maybe I should know this, but as I mentioned, being my own problem I am having difficulty making sense of my outcome here.....

I look forward to hearing back - especially if any of the James family/organisation read this message on their forum..... due to your huge experience of this format of treatment of such a wide range of issues.

Thanks a lot.

Nig

[Docresults]

Nigel,

Please consider...

You are asking questions that will be best answered by doing the exericse. If you do not like the results re-install or calibrate, adjust and redo the exericse.

In answer to your question about knowing that A... will you still feel B... Does the knowing that you were once in grade school mean that you still feel like a 5th grader?

Doing the exercise will answer all your questions and give you the information you need to proceed.

To Your Best,
Doc

[Nigel H]

thanks Doc - whilst I get what you mean with your 5th grade example - I feel it is slightly different because I am outside of that scenario now, whereas still in my marriage (I hope at least .....) so the knowledge it occured is still directly relevant ..........


cheers Nig

[Docresults]

OK

You and your wife are in the car traveling and at mile marker #8 your wife wanted a potty break so you stopped and let her re-leave herself even though you felt she could have held it and you wanted to keep driving. At mile marker #15 if you are still holding it against your wife you are still missing the point -that it is NOT about your wife and what she did in the past - it's about you and what you are doing in the present.

You will trust others (who want or have a connection with you) when you trust yourself. To really trust yourself you will want to know yourself more than most of folks want to know themselves.

My point in the 5th grade example and the car example is that even though an incident with your wife raised the issue, it is really not about her or what she did, it is more about you and what you do.

Again all this talk is simply mental master.....wankering. Do the exercise and observe how you feel and if it is not how you want to feel, recalibrate and do the exercise again or do other exercises to get you to the place where you feel good no matter what another does. (Because they are never really doing it to you so much as they are doing for themselves and there really is more than enough for everyone to have exactly what they want.)

There really isn't anything more important than that one sets up their thinking and feeling so one feels good no matter what, for then it leads to more good feeling stuff happening to you. (Not saying it is easy but I am saying it is our natural state.)

To Your Best,
Doc

"Relax, feel good, focus on what you want, feel good, relax." My Grampa Vetter

[Nigel H]

Well - thanks again - I think!!

I must confess I had to re-read that to further understand what the hell it meant, mate! ...... but I have just scrubbed out the reply I was going to send and think I get your meaning now.

It has just hit me and taken me to the real point - of finding the prime concern - which I was looking at from the wrong angle to make sense of it in my own problem, as opposed to someone elses as is more usual for me.

Thanks for reminding me - Perception=Projection - it was there all along and is MY problem in how I internalise what she has done and what that means to me. By dealing with that, knowing what she has done will no longer impact me in the same way.

So now I logically understand again - all I have to do is trust in the session work I will do to get me to that point [believing that and trusting that, whilst I still have the 'problem' is the difficult part, but at least you reminded me of what I needed.]

Genuine thanks Doc.

Nig

[Poodle]

You only have the problem if you wish to hold onto it. Let it go. Create new and happy feelings. It doesn't even have to be TLT. It can be NLP or hypnosis. You have all the tools so you can choose the one that will work best for you. Take yourself back to the time you really fell in love with her and keep doubling those feelings and anchor them to her NOW KNOWING THAT YOU WOULD TRUST HER WITH YOUR LIFE. You'll be on your second honeymoon! Create new and happy feelings inside YOU. Delete the old anchors like this happened in this room so when I'm in this room I'm going to feel badly. No! Change it all. Recreate everything by collapsing old anchors and installing good ones. How much happiness can you both stand? You can do it. I know it!! Pood ;)

[Merlin]

Trust ie an emotion/feeling.
What do you want to do with it?

[Nigel H]

Hi - I want to re-gain / re-create the trust - so I am not imagining negative things occuring whenever she is out of sight / earshot...........

[Simon]

Nigel you wrote it yourself, the problem are the images that come to your mind when she's away.

What would happen if you start to change them? :D

[Poodle]

Seems as if it went well. Kudos. You know how to change that fear. If you are too close to the problem, have one of your ex-classmates work with you if at all possible. Get your self-confidence back as the lady loves YOU! Pood :)

[Jack]

Hello Nigel, Timeline is not my preferred route for situations such as yours simply because hypnotherapy and NLP contain all that is needed.

Whatever anyone says on here, no-one knows either you or your wife, so exhortations to trust are I think a little misplaced. You can only trust calibration, recalibration and doing the exercises until you have the result. But I know how difficult it can be when you are the client and how difficult it can be to trust the result or accept the result if it is not the one you want.

If you know a good hypnotherapist finding out from where these feelings are coming should illuminate cause and give you a guideline for further examination. I think you need someone else involved who is not you.

Jack