So can anyone help me with this?

[Unregistered]

I have a total PARANOIA around people and can NEVER be myself. I am making up unreal moments, creating an unreal personality.. creating a person depending on FEAR. I simply can't rip myself apart from it. I WANT MYSELF BACK. I have so much bottled up inside I can't excess this all out because this out SH*T keeps coming in the way! And it's not fu*king real!! My therapist wants to put me on medicines, but I SO WISH THERE WERE ANOTHER OPTION, just as effective. Can any of you help me with this? Is there a way to hypnotise myself to LEAVE the fear and be 100% myself? If you don't know what I'm talking about, look up social phobia or excessive shyness, it all fits the description pretty well even though I find this quite different. I need to feel safe around others and I need to be myself. Any hypnotises that WORKS that can do this for me? Effectively? Can this (www.innergear.com?), make me this difference? Can anything.. at all?

[Unregistered]

what a cool thing you obviously know what you want from life dude now forget the crap side and go live the life good luck!!!!!!!

[Unregistered]

look at what you typed you bolded all the bad you need to practice seeing the bright side.

you need to watch the childrens movie POLLYANNA play her game and watch your life grow dont spend money on something you obviously have inside you you will easily feel great with your own help not someone elses

[Unregistered]

I know my problem but have no idea how to fix it.

[Don]

Right now, your mind-set is that you are "broken." After all, if you weren't broken, you wouldn't need to be "fixed."

With hypnotherapy, Time Line Thereapy, etc., the modern paradigm is that you are not broken at all. You are working perfectly. However, your current set of tools and information--what causes your undesired fears--doesn't meet your current conscious needs.

If changing your tools and information were finger-snap easy, everyone would know how to do it. Obviously, they don't. If you go to a certified hypnotherapist, an NLP Master Practitioner, or a certified Time Line Therapy practitioner, that person will be able to help you change into the person you want to be.

[armaan]

Your inner desire to change, which is clear from your post is the POWER which is going to make all the difference in your life. Trust me, you are not alone, many people who are walking around you are having a lot of problems with their personality. It's just that they have put on the persona of 'I don't care, I am tough' on their faces that hides their true self.

You can change, there is absolutely no doubt to that. There can't be, because YOU want to change. Nobody has the power to effect that decision you have taken. Now when you are taking the responsibility, things are bound to happen in your favor.

The question is HOW! As Don said, go to a certified hypnotherapist, NLP or Time Line Therapy practitioner and he can help you out. Secondly, as I read your mail and have an idea what you are talking about, Go and buy the book "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw. This book is probably the answer to all what you have mentioned in your email.

Next, BEGIN to visualize yourself exactly how you want yourself to be. WRITE THAT DOWN (there is a reason to this) and read it loudly in the night before you go to sleep and in the morning right after you wake up. KNOW that you are becoming that person, start living it and pay attention to the resistance that your mind tries to put on (and it will).

Regards,

Armaan.

P.S. Don, I hope I am not appearing as advertising anything by mentioning the name of the book and author.

[Don]

Hi, Armaan!

Nope, your not advertising at all. You're giving your opinion about a book that could be helpful. I hope everyone will do that.

Telling people where to go get something is different completely, especially if that is a for-profit website.

[Terry (existing)]

Guest, I am unwilling to go against the opinion of one who has seen you, consulted with you, and rendered an opinion based on face to face consultation, when I have no such advantage. I have little faith in someone who feels better served by an online discussion with a group of strangers, than by some skilled person who knows considerably more about them.. Therefor I must pass on this one, as I suggest we all do, and leave it to those close to your to offer guidance. If you truly object to medication, discuss this with your present practitioner.

[Robert H]

I am making up unreal moments, creating an unreal personality.. creating a person depending on FEAR.

Wow - that is fascinating - how do you do that?? What is your recipe for creating unreal moments and personality??? I know a lot of people that could use a good dose of unreality. Is it fun?? Seems like a good way to entertain yourself - especially if you don't have anyone else around to call you on your unreality.

Also - i want to give some people unreal personalities!!!!! :rolleyes:

Did your unreal moments or personality persist when people challenge you on things unreal.

How do you know when you have created a unreal personality as opposed to a real one? How do you know which one is the real you? Do you like the unreal one better? - on why only one unreal one? If you can make up unreal personality - why not have several.

Have you every thought about becoming an actor....that is what really good actors do - they make up unreal personality. Is that how you learned to do it??

Same question for a unreal moment as opposed to real one.

Maybe you got it backwards...maybe your unreal one is your real one...and your real one is your unreal one. How do you know??? Wouldn't that be a trip??

Is this a eyes wide open experience? Or a dream time one?

So what anyway?? real - unreal ---- it's just experience. What if I told it was all unreal?? all of it. Or what if I told you it was all real?? What if they are both simultaneously real and un-real at the same time? As far as I can that is how the universe works. According to quantum physics - there is no reality - but accordig to newtonian physics there is.

Maybe you are just confused about physics. Read some Einstein - that helps to clarify it because he said it's all relative. Now Albert was not talking about relatives though....that's something else entirely.

oh yeah - the fear and all that....WOW - some people have to use drugs to feel ANY thing....and you are going around with all that fear and andreline rush. MAN!!! I want to know how you do that too. Just imagine we could make computer that installs it in people. Then people's everyday experience of just going out in public could be more scary than jumping out of an airplane or a scary movie.

We are really onto something here --- man you are cool. Just imagine how much this could make us. Seriously. Want to go into business????

This sounds like cool stuff. Very cool.

Eagerly awaiting your secrets!! (So I use them to get wealthy!!)

Robert

[skip]

"I have a total PARANOIA around people and can NEVER be myself. I am making up unreal moments, creating an unreal personality.. creating a person depending on FEAR."

See I have a bit of trouble figuring out what exactly an unreal personality is.

I have taken things about myself that I didnt like and adopted different behaviors until those behaviors became first nature. Sort of a, "fake it until you make it."

So for me the 'unreal' became 'real' when it felt like "me". Then I learned NLP and discovered how to make it 'feel like me' instantly.

But for those who didnt know it was fake, it was 'real' all along.

So it is somewhat confusing to me.

And I am different with different people, and in different contexts. Lots of stuff is still the same, but there are subtle and sometimes significant differences. Skip the soccer referee isnt Skip the 'international playboy', and neither is Skip the blasphemer, who is radically different from Skip the usurper!

So for me the question is 'who' do you want to be and how quickly can you "make it so"? This also moves you out of the fear based response and into a "this is what I want" response.

A much better place to be IMO.

skip

[Harvester]

You should consider yourself lucky...

people who become too much confident around people and too much themselves can suffer from bad consequences sometimes...

[Poodle]

I agree -- seek help immediately from a certified hypnotherapist and also some NLP would NOT hurt either. You can go for psychoanalysis for 600 sessions to receive what you will get in 6 with hypnotherapy and the "cure" rate with hypnotherapy is 93% v. 38% with psychoanalysis. This should pretty well settle any question you have in your mind as how to proceed. WE ARE THE ANSWER! WE KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING AND WE DO KNOW HOW TO DO IT!

[Terry (existing)]

Poodle, were did you get those statistics pray tell? I have heard many stories that claim various stats, all different, and since I know that statistics can be used and abused for all things, I feel that if you are going to quote them, you should be prepared to show were that information came from. For example, I heard a story about a group of psycologists who decided to do an investigation into the success rate they and their co workers were having, and came up with a figure of only four percent, which when taking into consideration, those who would have recovered without help, meant that their success rate was only two percent. Now it's a funny story to me, and I have not intention of promoting this as fact because it was indeed just a story I couldn't substantiate.... Hence I suggest that you provide your source, so that we can decide if it is reliable... A success rate of 93% for example, may be low if only the best of us were under consideration, but from some of the information we get here, there are just as many poor practitioners as successful ones, if not more, so that rate might well be just a myth in practical terms for the normal persons seeking help from hypnosis..

[Jack]

Well, Terry, as you know 99.9% of my clients are immediately cured of any problem whatsoever, simply by my shaking their hands and affirming that they have a right to be here..no less than the trees and the stars, and once they know that the universe is unfolding as it should, where's the problem?

47% of those clients are male, 51% female and 3% are of indeterminate gender or species. Of the 47% male clients 26% are bald, 18% are shorter than the average and 2% have different coloured eyes. Of the females: 1% are bald, 94% are shorter than me and only 14% are genuine blondes. Of the indeterminate 63% have four legs, 0.02% have eight legs and 23% are blonde.

I now know I am prejudiced against eight legged, short blonde, bald males with different coloured eyes, so I will try to redress that balance.

The 0.1 clients who are not immediately cured have been proved to be clinically dead, so I feel no sympathy for their obvious resistance and no responsibilty for their unwillingness to give ideomotor signals.

Where's the scotch?

Jack

[Terry (existing)]

Not sure Jack, but you are closer to the source than I. If you suspect there might be any shortage in the near future, please email me at once, so I can stock up. I have no desire to end up looking like the dead, "with hangdog head, and downcast eye, bereft of life and joy". This is of course at times due to lack of good spirits to lift the spirit....

[Poodle]

The stats are by Alfred A. Barres, Ph.D. and are in a text book from a well known university. Also, all you gents on my case about regression, memories, etc. check out what Time Line Therapy is used for!! What a bunch of non-believers!! You want ME to go to another website when this one is for Time Line Therapy as developed by Tad James??

To actually quote it correctly: "Recovery Rates by Alfred A. Barres, Ph.D.
Psychoanalysis..........................38%....... .......600 sessions
Behavioral Therapy.................... 72%...............22 sessions
Hypnotherapy........................... 93%............... 6 sessions"

ENJOY! POOD

[Terry (existing)]

The stats are by Alfred A. Barres, Ph.D. and are in a text book from a well known university. Also, all you gents on my case about regression, memories, etc. check out what Time Line Therapy is used for!! What a bunch of non-believers!! You want ME to go to another website when this one is for Time Line Therapy as developed by Tad James??

To actually quote it correctly: "Recovery Rates by Alfred A. Barres, Ph.D.
Psychoanalysis..........................38%....... .......600 sessions
Behavioral Therapy.................... 72%...............22 sessions
Hypnotherapy........................... 93%............... 6 sessions"

ENJOY! POODPoodle, though I have little faith in psychoanalysis or Behavioral therapy, and my own success rate on retirement was roughly 98% I must point out that these figures have no substance in actual practise. You should know from reading posts here, that many in practise shouldn;t be and fail the client more often than succeed. These pull down our success rate greatly, so I must dispute the 93% quoted by Alf when we compare the success of hundreds of practitioners. We can only conclude that certain individuals get such results, but other get far less. If he is quoting his own practise in all cases, then such figures may well be accepted with reservations, since only his own figures are being considered. If he is quoting figures based on one person, each doing one therapy, again, his figures may be correct, but don't take into account to skill of the individuals. In other words, without more detail, such figures are of no value to anyone, even if I agree that hypnosis is better, which of course I do, because, remember, I am predudiced.......

[Don]

Poodle, because hypnotherapy is part of the field of complementary and alternative medicine and not licensed medical practice, and because there are so many misconceptions and misunderstandings about it, I feel it is important to be very exact, specific, and as error-free as possible when making claims, especially about the efficacy of hypnotherapy over licensed medical practices. To this end, I feel it is important that I make some corrections to what you posted:

1) The author's name is actually Alfred A. Barrios, not Barres.
2) The article you are describing did not originally appear in "a text book from a well known university." Rather, it appeared in the Spring, 1970 issue of "Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice." If it has since reappeared in a book, you should give the name of the book and the publisher.
3) Dr. Barrios did not actually do practical work to come up with the figures you quote. Rather, he got the quotes by "surveying the literature." Specifically, he based his comments on recent articles in professional literature which he could find. "There were 1,018 articles dealing with hypnosis in the past three years (1966 through 1968), approximately forty per cent of which dealt with its use in therapy. In the same period we find 899 articles on psychoanalytic therapy and 355 on behavior therapy."

Anyone who wishes to read the original article in its entirety may do so at:
http://www.stresscards.com/esspsychotherapy.htm

You may wonder how I came up with this information. The answer is that when I saw the original claim I wrote to him for further information and he graciously responded.

[Terry (existing)]

Thank you Don for that information, it's the kind of stuff I love to come across as the origial. It is now on my list of "favourites" for continued reading and study.

[Harmony]

I can understand this. Shyness to the point of not being able to function in society is a condition that is listed as a mental dis-order. I saw this on TV years ago. I do not remember what it was called. But I know it sometimes runs in the family. Even some people with a fairly normal self esteem can have this disorder. I had a daughter like this but she is grown now and better. I was that way for the 1st 15 years of my life. I was terrified! I was even afraid to ask my teacher if I could be excused to go to the restroom. I thought she would say no. Then I would be upset because all the other kids would be looking at me wondering what is wrong with me. I suppose deep down I believed something was wrong with me. Point is, You ARE and BECOME what you BELIEVE you are. You should only live up to the expectations you have in yourself. Some try to live up to the expectations of others.
You can CHOSE what that is and BE who ever you want. Create your own self. Create your own reality. Create your own personality. It does not have to be perfect. Just let it be. It does not have to be anyone elses because who's to say every one elses reality is correct? We each live according to our own reality. There IS NO real way. No way is the correct way. There IS no right or wrong way to act or be. I know the spookiness of wondering who you are. Who am I? My own mother asked that so much. She really struggled with it and was finally diagnosed as having Parinoid Scitzophrinia. (Excuse my poor spelling) She was on meds for many years. That happened when I was 15. After being on the Meds for so long, she developed side affects from the drugs that have left her body crippled. To late they learned she was only Bi Bolar! If you are conserned and want more info, and do not want the drugs, go to another Practitoner and get a 2nd opinion. Even a 3rd. You may even consider seeing a Past Life Therapist. Many psychotic behaviors and illnesses do stem from Cell memory from a Past Life. It could not hurt to find out if there is a connection there. Once discoverd, it can be released into the light and you will heal.
God bless and best wishes. For now. Just BE. Its OK to just Be. You do not have to have any certain personality. You do not have to see yourself through the eyes of others. Only your own. Almost everyone will wear a different face for different people at certain points in time. You are the one who decides who you are. No one else.
Personally, a real Shaman would be able to do allot for your sense of self. They are very expert in that way.